The dynamics of relationships are changing. Marriages last less, monogamy has become increasingly questioned and, surprisingly, young people have been less interested in sex.
These and other questions were discussed during the conversation “Liquids, unstable and of short duration”, mediated by Camila Brandalise, assistant editor of Completeand with the participation of psychoanalyst and writer Elisama Santos, of the podcast “Vai Passar” and Cris Bartis, co-founder of the podcast “Mamilos” and partner of B9 Company.
Panel was moderated by Camila Brandalise, assistant editor of Universa
Image: UOL/Mariana Pekin
About a year ago, Rutgers University, an American institution, released the results of a survey of Americans aged 18 to 23: they were having 14% less casual sex. As for open relationships and the question of monogamy, in Brazil searches on “what is an open relationship” increased by 70% according to a search engine on the internet.
Elisama Santos, psychoanalyst and writer, during Universa Talks 2022
Image: Mariana Pekin/ UOL
For Elisama Santos, the review of concepts about how relationships work or should work has been reviewed in general. “Staying years married doesn’t mean staying years together”, she pointed out. “They are very different things, the time of relationship no longer symbolizes a certificate of success”, explained the psychoanalyst.
wrong expectations
Cris Bartis, co-founder of Mamilos and partner of B9 Company, at Universa Talks 2022
Image: Mariana Pekin/ UOL
Cris Bartis recalled that even non-monogamous agreements demand agreements. Based on a question from a married woman who ventured into extramarital relationships, Cris pondered that even when the idea is to have an open marriage, it is necessary to establish agreements. “Polyamory is different from mess. And this perception is, by the way, something that these people hate”, said the founder of Mamilos.
When talking about affective responsibility – another trendy issue in the field of relationships – Elisama said that some terms are used wrongly associated with love.
‘We need to think about the commitments we have with each other, with human beings. It’s polite if I tag you, untag it if you don’t. It’s an affective responsibility,” she illustrated.
“There is a responsibility to comply with agreements and to let you know if the agreement no longer makes sense to me. But we cannot bear the responsibility of making each other happy.”
