Elizabeth Scott explains that the culprits of these toxic relationships can be mental illnesses such as bipolar disorder, major depression or narcissism, while people exposed to toxic relationships are sensitive to negative emotions.
Signs of a toxic relationship
Dr. Elizabeth Scott says that relationships that involve physical or verbal abuse are definitely classified as toxic, but there are other, more subtle signs of a toxic relationship, including:
• Feelings of weakness, exhaustion and destabilization of self-confidence.
• Constant feeling of disrespect, and a person’s needs not being met.
• Feeling of alert for any sudden attack.
• Feeling depressed, angry or tired after being with the toxic person.
• Make a great effort in trying to please and make the other party happy.
• Feeding negative emotions such as cruelty, hatred, hate and pain.
How do you deal with toxic behavior?
Los Angeles couples specialist Barry Suskind recommends starting to identify behaviors that cause us emotional abuse, such as being cheated on, or prone to creating drama or conflict. Dr. Susskind also offers a set of useful tips to get rid of “toxicity” in relationships, of any kind:
Don’t get carried away by their reality
People in a toxic relationship tend to see themselves as a victim in every situation, and if they make a mistake they blame someone else. Silence, or support for their vision, may seem a safe option to avoid a tantrum, or a conflict; But that will make the listener a constant partner in their struggles.
Although the dispute bothers them and fuels their aggression, it may be useful to reduce the attempt to involve the opposing party in their disputes.
Pay attention to how you feel
Some people say rude things they don’t mean; But we must wonder if insults, lies, or any kind of emotional and verbal abuse, dominate our dealings with these people? Whatever the reasons for personal conflicts, they do not justify abuse, and we do not have to accept it.
Talk to them about their behaviour
People who manipulate others or create tragic situations often do not realize how their behavior affects others.
An open conversation may help them realize that their behavior is not acceptable, and to keep things neutral, stick to an “I” that feels less accusatory. Say “no” and walk away.
Holding on to rejection can be difficult, especially when someone is trying to make us feel guilty, to hold us down and change our mind.
But if we decide to say “no”, we don’t have to take it back, and the more we practice saying “no” to the things we don’t feel comfortable with, the easier it becomes.
Remember that you are not wrong
Toxic people accuse those they interact with of being unfairly treated, of mistreating them or of not caring for their needs.
This prompts the accused to defend themselves. Instead of this emotional behavior, you can respond with a simple, “I’m sorry you feel this way,” and leave it at that.
– Make yourself unavailable
Reducing the amount of time we spend with people who are behaving in a toxic way might be a good way to stop them from trying to drain our emotional resources.
Borders are necessary to protect you
It is difficult to be exposed to negative and aggressive remarks without being affected by them, so we must reframe personal boundaries, by defining what we want, what we do not allow or do not tolerate, and then express these boundaries very clearly, and stick to them.
– keep calm
It is very important to focus on health during a toxic relationship, so breathing slowly and deeply when feeling tight, while relaxing the muscles rather than tightening them, is useful to distract from anger and negative feelings, which may seep in.
