face mask
Decorate the lockdown with this mouth cap, made from a theater costume. With certificate with information about who wore the costume and in which performance.
Hnt.nl, € 50,00
Macbeth-handgel
Wash your hands in innocence during the traditional Christmas feud with this Lady Macbeth hand gel (“Who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?”).
Shop.nationaltheatre.org.uk, £ 6,00 (circa € 7,13)
Yourself on a movie poster
Shine on a theater poster with your own photo, a self-invented title and ‘review quotes’ from friends or family. The National Theater does the layout.
Hnt.nl, € 50,00
dance performance
Bathe in theatrical opulence in this witty bathing suit, featuring images from Club Guy & Roni’s dance performance ‘Love’.
Nnt.nl, €32.95. The performance is still possible until December 6.
clubguyandroni.nl
Theater beers
Cheers to the arts with NITE’s nice and fresh theater beers.
Nnt.nl, € 21.95 for a six pack
Carrier bag
Create a dance in your walking pass with this felt tote bag, with the logo of the Nederlands Dans Theater on it.
Shop.ndt.nl, € 10,00
Sweater
Get the Christmas talk right away with this unruly sweater with lyrics by this year’s Theo d’Or winner, Naomi Velissariou, from her show ‘Permanent destruction’. In various colors.
Theaterutrecht.shop, € 25,00
T-shirt
Wink your love for the greatest of playwrights with this t-shirt, available in four colours.
Webshop.shakespearetheaterdiever.nl, € 15,00
You become a different person in the theater
When I want my kids to show their full arsenal of rolling eyes, icy sighs, and pained faces, I remind them, in conversations about love, that their mother and I went to a play on our first date. After a Greek tragedy that is, ‘Iphigenia op Tauris’, in the Koninklijke Schouwburg in The Hague, the most stately theater in the country. The fact that somehow they should be happy with the success of that date is no reason for them to condone our tragically uncool behavior.
For a first date, going to the theater may indeed be a risk, but otherwise I see it as an inexhaustible source of unforgettable experiences. I myself became fascinated by drama at an early age (before it came to dating), initially because the performances took place outside theater walls, ‘on location’: in an old tram depot, in a fragrant riding school (Beckett’s Endgame) and in a former printing house (‘Greek’ by the still young Johan Doesburg, who let Ariane Schluter and Jack Wouters fuck on the couch without taking their eyes off the TV screen).
Don’t start talking to me about the magic of theatre, that threadbare marketing term, but such theater is an adventure: actors in unknown places, with penetrating stories. You become a different person. This is how it still feels after years of theater visits.
You give such experiences to everyone. The most convenient form of gift for transferring this is the Podium Gift Card. But, everyone knows that: such vouchers are nonsense, which are forgotten and lost. My advice: choose a beautiful performance yourself and buy those tickets. Make sure you can always do it yourself, if the recipient is unable to attend.
Or make someone happy with the cool merchandise that is also advancing in that uncool theater world. The Noord Nederlands Toneel had this year decorated a weeklong program with gifts, of which I remember in any case that their NITE beer tastes excellent. Or give a trendy felt bag with a large ‘Nederlands Dans Theater’ on it. Forget Armani, fuck Hugo Boss: that’s a logo you want to be seen with.
Ron Rijghard
A version of this article also appeared in NRC Handelsblad of 27 November 2021
A version of this article also appeared in NRC in the morning of November 27, 2021