With the extension of the corona admission ticket on November 6, the vaccination discussion seems to be on the rise. And more measures are on the way. In the catering industry you already had to have a QR code scanned inside, but now you also have to show corona proof on the terrace. Furthermore, the corona proof has also been extended to, among other things, gyms and transfer locations.
Vaccinated and unvaccinated people are increasingly confronting each other. In relationships, it can cause disagreements: what if you and your partner think differently about the jab?
Lotte* had been together with her girlfriend for 3.5 years when corona caused problems in her relationship. “Every time we were with her family they would talk about vaccinations and that I shouldn’t be so retarded, because it’s just a shot.”
Lotte herself has not been vaccinated, but her ex-girlfriend was. “She really listens to what the government says and I’m just not like that. I want to do my own research and wait to vaccinate until it feels right to me.”
end of relationship
Disagreements about taking the jab were the last straw. “At one point I got angry and I was done with being called crazy over and over.”
“The division between us kept getting bigger and there was no respect anymore. Because of this, I will not be so quickly in a relationship with someone who has been vaccinated.”
But the battle between vaccinated and unvaccinated seeps not only in love relationships. According to Bernadette Keijzer, relationship coach and owner of Hello Mediatior, families can also suffer from it.
“A wedge can be driven in families by difference in perception. One believes the information you see everywhere and the other goes looking for evidence to prove otherwise.”
And these differences can have nasty outcomes. “Corona can be the death blow for your family, especially if there were already problems.”
Dirk* also agrees with this. He himself is vaccinated, but his brother is not. “He has no confidence in the government. He immediately put his heels in the sand with the first measures.”
Although his family does not fall apart, it remains disturbing for him. “It’s not really a fight, but it’s difficult to continue to deal with each other on an equal level. You still have different feelings and thoughts.”
The two now have less contact. “We now cycle monthly, but I have to hold back for two hours. That is annoying.”
Now that the QR code has made its entrance, tensions are running even higher. “Our father turned 75 and my brother had to get tested. He had a QR code but started again about how all this was bullshit.”
How is he handling it now? “Oh never mind, I often think. The rest of the family also tries to keep the peace.”
And that’s how Chantal* tries to deal with it. Her relationship with her sister became increasingly difficult. “My sister has been a conspiracy theorist for years, in that sense I have gotten used to it, but in corona time it really started to lead a life of its own.”
‘She calls me a sheep’
And especially with the use of the QR code. “She calls me a sheep because I like the QR code, she just doesn’t understand.”
Chantal herself prefers to avoid the subject in order to save the bond with her sister. “I notice that it is very high for her, she would like to talk to me about it. I don’t want this, otherwise I may not see her anymore.”
She regrets that opinions differ so much between her and her sister. “We also have a lot in common and the same sense of humor. I can laugh a lot with her, but her life is different.”
Fun moments are therefore limited. “At least we can’t shop together. We are far too different for that.”
However, your relationship does not have to end because of the vaccination discussion. “Both parties must be open to start the conversation and listen to each other,” says relationship coach Keijzer.
“If you communicate from emotion, then you have two bickering children sitting opposite each other and that ultimately produces nothing but more incomprehension. Change starts with yourself, if you can listen without judgment and put your own opinion aside for a while. can already save the relationship.”
* The names in this article have been anonymized, the real names are known to the editors.